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Some thoughts…

As I am sitting here, in front of my computer watching American Son in the back, my mind is just lost. Lost into everything that has been happening 2020. I don’t even know where to start. I am just going to share a few thoughts with you.

I think 2020 is THE year none of us will ever forget. So far, it has been nothing but exhausting.

First, this whole Coronavirus situation really through me off. I liked my Gainesville’s routine. Wake up, workout, get ready, go for coffee, hang out at my sorority house, go to class, then to the library… and repeat. Being back home really put my productivity down. While it feels great to be around my family, I do miss my routine and my friends a lot.

I did not believe it would last this long. Two weeks into quarantine, I was ready to go back to my favorite brunch places. Over three months later, I barely leave my house even though most of the stores are open. Maybe it is how life will be from now on.

Then, there are all these racial movements currently happening. Racism is something I do not understand nor tolerate. My dad is white, and my mom is black, which makes me mixed. I consider myself neither white nor black. Obviously, my skin is more on the dark side, and my brother is totally white. Seeing people protesting for equality of treatment has been heartbreaking to me. No one should have to go through this.

The notion of race was never something I was taught growing up. Before moving to the United States, I never was asked to check a box stating whether I was Black, White, Asian, or Latino. At first, I was SO confused. I didn’t know where to put myself. Should I put Black and deny my dad’s background, or should I put white and forget about my mom’s? I figured out pretty fast that on most forms I could pick both, but I am not going to lie, I still feel very uncomfortable answering this question. As Ta-nehisi Coates said, “race is the child of racism, not the father.”

After all, what does it matter?

The situation really got me thinking. I was always the only black/mixed kid in my classes. I have never experienced racism, and I hope I never do. I can’t imagine what it feels like to be judged, insulted, or treated differently because of the way you look. Most of us are born from a couple who were in love and wanted to build a family. We are not born to hate one another. We are not choosing whether we have blue or brown eyes, or whether we are 5″ 2 or 6″ 2. The same goes for the color of your skin.

I have had a few conversations with my friends and influencers on social media. Some of them shared very personal stories about how their parents had to teach them to “survive” as Black Americans.

I think we reached an impasse as a society. Being secluded at home for several weeks, and then finally being allowed to go out and resume our normal lives has not been an easy process.

I took two much needed weeks off posting. I listened, and I learned from a grieving community, not only in the United States but all around the world. I want to use my platform to raise awareness about issues that are important to me and not only share cute outfits (even though we do love some good outfits).

American Son is touching to an end. Once again, Kerry Washington was fantastic. I discovered her about four years ago when I started watching Scandal. She has the capacity to share emotions, as I have never seen before. She really is an amazing actress. The movie was just eye-opening about how people can be treated differently because of the way they look. For those of you who haven’t seen this movie yet,  I won’t spoil anything, but I do recommend it. In the end, no matter what the color of your skin is, you go through the same pain.

I hope this article doesn’t feel offensive to anyone.  It is drastically different from anything I have ever posted before. However, I hope it brings some enlightening conversation.

There are tons of resources to get educated on the matter. 

The only thing we can hope is that the remaining half of 2020 improves!

xx, 

Victoria

Art by @artbynidhi

Comments

  1. thank you for sharing. i agree this time has been soo hard. but so proud of you for speaking up and using your platform for more 🤍🤍

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